Friday, August 18, 2006

Wrestling with old flames

Recently it was reported to me by a close friend that an old flame was asking about me. At firt I felt very uncomfortable at the idea of his continued interest in me. That funny feeling inside appears and the questions start rolling in. Am I still interested in him? Do I forsake my current relationship to return? Does he still feel the same way?

My response was to have my friend tell him to contact me directly. My email's the same. That was the problem before: lack of regular contact or communication back to me. I even gave the option of using his native language if it made it easier.

I don't like the idea of an old flame asking about me to someone else, unless it's completely impersonal information like: what's she doing now? Is she still teaching? NOT questions like: Is she dating anyone else?

Although, I must admit that I have done similar things, though not necessarily about previous boyfriends, but for people in general. It's safer to ask a neutral 3rd party about someone else than bother with confronting that person directly, especially when there's been some weirdness in the past.

Am I right? Maybe. Maybe not.

What should I do?

Another person said that she would be curious about this old flame's intentions and thought she would like to investigate more thoroughly if she were me. I'm afraid of bringing back all those old emotions and risking jeoapardizing [sp?] my current relationship commitment.

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