A bubble-blowing day wish

Tepadey Village Children Chasing Bubbles originally uploaded by Nikkster

I wish every day was a bubble-blowing day. It is just so relaxing to dip and blow with a bubble wand.

Best Office Gadget Ever Award

And the winner is....

This particular kind of staple remover is my office best friend.

I received one of these years ago from a business fair as a promo item and have loved it ever since. I even took it to Cambodia with me because those other "claw" removers just don't do the job right.

Recently I've been doing some office work that requires removing lots of staples and started using the claw kind until a fellow office mate provided me a Swingline remover.

Unfortunately it just didn't do the job right either.

So when I happened to be volunteering at a Baby Boomer Expo the other weekend scanning the different books, my eyes glommed onto the prize. It was one of the fantastic "freebie" promo staple removers.

I think the vendor thought I was a little nutso for being so excited over such a small office gadget. He just doesn't realize how magnificent those little tools are when one is dealing with staples.

For me, the promotional staple remover is

the Best Office Gadget Ever!

15-Day Indochina Cultural Heritage Tour

September 3-17, 2008

Angkor Wat at Night originally uploaded by Nikkster
Bangkok - ChiangMai - Luang Prabang - Siem Reap - Phnom Penh

Join me as I lead this tour through some of the spots I love the most. We'll see the sights and shop the markets in Bangkok; hit an elephant trek in Chiang Mai; take a river cruise in Luang Prabang plus explore its historical streets, hitting the tribal night market (I'll finally get to buy more handmade paper lanterns that I left on the bus in Jan '05); visit the amazing Angkor Wat plus hangout with the family at their house for lunch in the village; and finally ending the tour by taking in the vibrant life of the capital in Phnom Penh.

It's priced at a mere $2750 (land only), and that includes your 3-star hotels througout, local tour guides throughout, bus/flight transfers, land transportation and most of your meals. What more could you ask for? (Well, I suppose FREE.)

Reserve your space now!

There's tons of interest in this personalized trip!

Royal Crown Revue - LIVE!!!

I just saw Royal Crown Revue in concert last night for FREE! Yeehaw! I just so happened to be temping at a radio station when the program director commented that he had tickets to RCR but had so many free tickets for other events that there was no time to give these away. I was shocked and when he asked if I was interested, I was so thrilled. The concert was only a few days away.

I took an old high school friend. She had invited me to a concert and so I treated her right back. The concert was held at Downtown Brew (formerly SLO Brew). It wasn't a huge location, but just intimate enough.

The Hydramatics opened the show at around 9pm. They were an excellent all around band: a little swing, a little rockabilly, a little country. . .

But, RCR was truly rockin'! There were real swing dancers mixing it up on the floor. And a few not so talented dancers attempting: the "matador" & the "flip-flop girl". Named for their style of dancing. The matador had some smooth moves but a lot of it look a bit like a poor paso doble. Flip-flop girl was wearing flip-flops with a little black dress and danced as if she had imbibed too much. He was flinging her all over the place and she was either landing on the floor or in the audience. The real swing dancers just danced away.

Overall, an awesome night. Even saw another old high school friend who I took a Spanish class with and we enjoyed humming favorite songs and making fun of New Kids on the Block. Oh, oh, ooohooohoooh. Oh, oh, oohooh. The right stuff!

Travel, Wait, Work, Interview,...

Did I really return from Cambodia on April 7? My first 2 weeks back was spent sitting around waiting for something to happen. I sent out resumes (only one responded last week and it's part-time). I contacted the temp agency. I cooked. I sent out a grad application.

Now I am working (thanks to a job by the temp agency). I have an interview for that part-time job (a driver's training instructor). I met up with my undergraduate advisor re: the grad program and was recommended to do another program (which I was actually thinking about instead). I got a parking ticket for letting the meter run out (I thought it was more important to speak to the dept chair about something than dash off).

I'd like to get a puppy. The current dog is not all that exciting and I think I'd like my own dog. I need to exercise but just don't feel like it (ever).

Weekend Wedding: Day 2

Another early start for me at 5:30am as I would be picked up at 6:10am. However this is pale in comparison to the bridal party who gets up at 4am or so to start the hair, make-up and getting dressed. The music usually starts blaring at 4:30am just in case the village had no idea there was going to be a wedding in their midst.

The first order of the day is organizing the procession of fruit trays and other food items. The close friends and family trot on over to a selected house where the groom and the bridal party (sans bride who is waiting upstairs at her house) get ready to lead about 40-50 people including dancers and musicians down the road and to the bride's house. Since the groom does not live nearby, we borrowed a relative's house (which happened to be the same location where my engagement procession started from 3 years ago).

There are several chairs set up along the walkway which have one tray each of fruit or food on them. As people arrive they sit down in the chairs from start to finish filling in the empty spaces. We were handed little red envelopes which had 500 Riel in each (about 12 cents worth). Because there weren't enough people to carry all the trays, there was some shuffling around and doubling up so that some people carried more than one tray (and more cash, too). I was in between 2 young girls. As we walked the section of my line decided to become less of a line and more of a blob of people. Obviously they didn't care about keeping two neat lines of people walking along the road.

Our procession became the object of some tourists' fancy as were were passed by a bus heading out of town. What a lucky break for them as they got to photograph Cambodians participating in a traditional activity wearing an array of brightly-colored silk dresses. The bus ended up stopping up ahead so that they people could get off and get better shots. I wondered if they would spot the one single white person in the mix. By the time my section of the line got close, though, they had already boarded the bus and were on their way.

We get to the house and everyone sits in chairs along an aisle that has been set up under one of the tents. This is so that the dancers/singers can do a little jig while collecting a piece of fruit from each person sitting in the rows. This collection of fruit is then offered to the bride's parents for approval to allow the bride to come downstairs.

What goes on next is just a bunch of staged photo opportunities of the bride and groom placing jasmine leis on each other's neck and holding flower arrangements. They then head back up into the house for the rest of the ceremony which includes some blessings and tying red string on their wrists. Everyone else scrambled over to the tables to eat the breakfast provided. I wasn't interested in eating as I saw what it was and it didn't appeal to me.

The rest of the morning I chilled out until the music started signalling the beginning of the lunch for all the hundreds of guests who would be arriving. At that point I needed to escape as I didn't care to have my hearing impaired by the unchecked excessive volume and bass that the Cambodians seem to think is perfect for a wedding. I scurried around the back of the house to shield me from the avalanche of noise and to the area behind the speakers where the grandfather's house is located. Underneath the house is the perfect area to sit as it receives the freshest breezes from the field, especially useful then as it was also excessively hot, too. I also wanted to see how long I could hide out and avoid putting my silk dress back on as I knew it would be stifling to wear it. I was supposed to be standing in the front of the party welcoming the guests to the wedding.

Aha! I was found out! Back on went the dress. To the front with all the music and to be a pleasant sight for all guests entering. But, no, there was a little girl standing next to me in the receiving line. Whose daughter she was, I don't know. I think she was a child from the groom's side of the family. She was neither dressed appropriately nor greeting guests in an appropriate way by holding up her hands in a prayer position in front of her lips. Why was she there? Then when she started telling all the guests the obvious fact, that is that I was a foreigner, I decided to attempt to teach her a lesson using my limited Khmer which essentially meant "shut-up." She got the message and shortly disappeared.

Most people acknowledged my presences, while a few didn't care or weren't really paying attention. I recognized a few people who were friends of mine or Da's. But overall it was hot and tiring to stand there. I was thankful when the guests trailed off which meant I could trail off and away from the sound, too. I found a bench in the shade (or what I thought was shade) on the other side of the house where it was only slightly less noisy. The other bonus was that I found a fan, too.

The peace and calm lasted for awhile until I was discovered by an older school teacher who was the host for my engagement party. He could speak English well enough to be understood and we spent some time catching up on old times. He even assisted me with some pronunciation problems in Khmer. However, it soon became very clear that I was merely a resource for him to asking an unceasing amount of grammar and vocabulary questions from me, seeing as I was the English teacher. At first it was cute, but it eventually became dull and my throat was parched. Some child brought him a Coke, but nothing for me. My throat was already on its last legs after the strain of the weekend.

Thankfully my savior arrived in the form of Da asking if I had eaten yet. He politely explained to the teacher that I was being requested to join the wedding party for their lunch now that most of the wedding guests had eaten and left already. Then the new husband also appeared and requested my presence. Yippee! However I had one stop and that was the table full of Da's good buddies and a few of my friends too. I needed to share a drink with them and have chat before they left as a courtesy.

Finally, I sat down and ate some food. It was the leftovers from the party. I didn't really care for much of it, but it certainly was impressive for the wedding food. As we ate, the music and tents were in the process of being torn down. Tables were being cleared away. All this stuff had to go to the next event as this is the peak of wedding season. I think I have filled my quota for participating and attending Cambodian weddings, even my own. If I don't have to do this long and drawn out affair ever again, I will certainly be content.

Going postal in Cambodia

Today I had my first official irritating Cambodian post office moment. Now I would say I am lucky since I've managed to last more than four years without feeling I've been ripped off. However, today was the icing on the cake.

I mailed a few postcards with a couple of packages for Swap-Bot, which I had been doing since I got here in February. Along with that I found out that the postal workers had been overcharging me for all the previous postcards I had been sending since I arrived . Normally postcards were 55 cents when I was last here in July 07, but the women started charging me $1 this time. I thought this was high, but figured since many prices had increased, this was one of them, until today. The laday today charged me the normal price and I was slightly shocked even when she said the special stamps were $1. I had never asked for special stamps and figured the women were charging me for special stamps and putting normal stamps on the postcards.

Oh well, I supposed they needed the extra cash more than I did.

Wedding Weekend: Day 1

the bride

My Saturday morning started early with a 6:25am pick up by a former student driving a minivan. He was my transport to the house where I would attempt to participate in the preparations for the big wedding event of my sister-in-law.
Being the only daughter, her wedding was a huge celebration that brought out the assistance of the entire village quite willingly, though I was less inclined. I thought I would be more helpful, but my morning was full of emotional chaos. For what reason, I do not know. I spent the morning on the brink of tears. Mom-in-law attempted to put me to work on the old standby of garlic pealing. It seems to be something harmless that the foreigner can do without too much harm. Of course everyone wanted to talk to me but I wasn't in the talking mood. Then it came down to the "big" comments by everyone. Not today!!!! Please!!!!
Once the garlic was finished, I was finished too and walked away from the area towards the irrigation canal to stare at the fish jumping and colorful dragonflies landing on leaves. A boy came over to ask me why I was here and I replied with, "I don't want to listen." And that was true.
I continued to stand there for awhile and then walked down the lane for a bit til some dogs announced my entry and I turned around. I came back and sat around some more. Da was busy with all kinds of errands so he had little time for me. Eventually he showed me a little attention by taking me tamarind picking.
We drove over to the tree and the village climbed up to shake the branches for the tamarinds to fall. We scurried around in the dirt picking them up to place in the basket. It was sweaty and dirty work. I came back drenched in sweat and it was still morning. Did I mention that it was hot and humid. It's slowly gotten hot so this wedding weekend will not be fun since we're out in the countryside without fans.
Lunch was served. I ate a little, but wasn't extremely hungry. After I went upstairs in the house to rest and read away from the stares. Eventually I was found and told that it was hot. Yes, of course it's hot. Then I was showed the new bed so I could take a rest. Somehow I didn't feel right resting on the newlyweds newly purchased bed. The bed that looked as if it was built to the exact dimensions of the room as it filled it in its entirety.
With no nap, I was invited down to help the old ladies prepare the rice cakes. Actually I was put on the soy bean paste ball rolling station. All I had to do was roll balls of the filling until there was none left. Of course the old ladies had to put their two cents in of comments about me and my size. I'm so over the never-ceasing need to talk about my size.

procession to the hair cutting ceremony

The next event of the day was the evening's wedding activity with the hair cutting ceremony. I don't have any idea why this is part of a wedding. I don't think anybody really knows either. The groom and bridesmaids took off down the lane with some guests decked out in wedding apparel outfits to take part in a small procession back to the house. The chairs were set up as two aisles with the bridal party at the end. The bride comes out of the house and joins the groom. A lot of the events are poses staged by the photographer for the typical wedding shots. There is a host and two dancers who sing and do a bit of a comedy routine leading up to the "hair cutting." Then there is a show of fake hair cutting and spraying of perfume by the dancers. The utensils are handed off to the parents for their turn at clipping away. And then a whole procession of family members and guests go through the motions of cutting the bride and grooms hair.
That's it. The first day's events are over. We eat a meal and people go home or stick around and keep preparing for the next day. Another early rise.

Give and it shall be given to you

Last Saturday I spent the morning at Tepaday Village to the north of Puok District. This is the home village of Da's father and it is considered quite poor. We have been looking into building a well for the village, but the conditions are not ideal as wells have been tried before with limited success.

However, our purpose last Saturday was more of a goodwill gesture as I had organized some donations of small hygiene items and school supplies for the children. Twenty mothers were chosen who had children for us to give a school bag full of goodies to them.

Before handing out the bags, though, fun was in store as I brought a secret stash of bubbles. When I pulled out the bottle the crowd of children and women eyed me with uncertainty. "What is this barang going to do?" As soon as I started blowing the bubbles, the cries of the children were all the answer I needed. It was so noisy that I had to move out to a more open space so as not to irritate the older folks.

Leaping and dashing to their delight (sometimes in the oncoming traffic of motorbikes), the bubbles were a hit. I passed the first bottle off to another child and pulled out a second bottle which I eventually handed to another boy. It was fun to stand back and watch them try it out. It was even more enjoyable when they started making their own bubble wands out of pieces of palm leaves. How inventive!

After the bubbles, it was time to hand out the school bags. Once we finished that we gave out some crank operated LED flashlights (no batteries required!) and a couple of solar powered and crank operated radios. There were 10 flashlights, but unfortunately one didn't seem to work, and that was the one we gave to the monk. Oops! An aunt gave up hers to the monk and then he got a radio, too. All was saved.

Bamboo Shoots (BASTIGO, NGO)

I had a fun morning a couple of weeks back when going out to visit the Bamboo Shoots school preparation program in villages behind the temples of the Angkor complex in Angkor Thom District.

The program aims to prepare children to enter the public school system by teaching them hygiene and basic school manners for how to act in a classroom. They have had a very good success rate with many of the children going on to enter the public school. The ages of the children range from 3-7 or 8 years old, with a few young teenagers who have never attended school before.

Started by a local couple who had been working with the Rajana group, the schools have been funded by donations from a couple of German churches among other assistance. It is easy to envision the benefit of this kind of education, but convincing the parents to fully support it is not always the case as they often need the children to care for the youngest siblings while the parents go to work in the fields. Despite this, the children seem to really enjoy the time spent at school.

Everything old is new

I see many new faces and places and some old (well, not really). It's good to re-connect with those who I saw regularly before and fun to re-visit the favorite eating establishments. It's also fun trying out new ones that have cropped up in the six months of my absence.

The old standbys:

• Khmer Kitchen: still slow in serving food, but tasty as ever
• What Bo? Cafe: pork chops and fried fish with coconut rice are delicious, though the pork chops went up a dollar
• India Gate: arguably, I suppose, the best Indian food in town with a new location, but same friendly Indian staff with superb memories and fantastic naan
• Cafe de la Paix: still serving up half-priced goodies after 8pm with lovely service

And, some new ones that are hit and miss:

• Red House Pizza: a big NO on this place cause who puts peanuts on their pizza?
• Common Grounds Cafe: a new coffee house supporting the NGO People for Care & Learning has great looks, tasty drinks and food, and comfy seating with WiFi

I'm on a mission to volunteer my skills and services to whomever might want to partake of them while I'm here. So far I am working on a promotional and marketing campaign for a 4-year old NGO called Angkor Association for the Disabled (AAD). This organization has been spearheaded by the extraordinary efforts of a landmine victim whose giant heart wants to see the end of discrimination of the disabled among Cambodians. However, awareness of the issues and obtaining financial support are the first priorities in order to feed and house the beneficiaries. Not only that but they are battling bad press by a former dance troupe manager who has attempted to discredit the organization and has nearly succeeded.

I watched a practice of their dance performance and it was fantastic. These young victims of disease and landmines are beautiful to watch as they pour their hearts into sharing the very personal story of overcoming tragedy on the road to triumph. Their talent goes beyond dance into wood carving and handicrafts. They each have incredible stories to share.

It is my hope that I can assist them in finding regular venues to showcase these talents locally and maybe even beyond.

Back in the Heat (and LOVING IT!!!)

What fun it is to be back in the 'ol stomping grounds again. Though this time I am not required to do a single thing but enjoy the sights and sounds, and smells (but that is more like disgust).

Greeted by family upon arrival as my surprise, I was sweeped away to the brother's apartment for rest and relaxation. I was still trying to shake a cold the came on two days before departure so I wasn't feeling the best. It was a combination of a head cold and jet lag that made me feel uneasy. I still managed to go out on the town (more like the big mall). We had pizza (The first time for the parents. Watching them trying to figure how to use a fork and knife to cut and eat pizza was novel.) I was definitely happy to have some homemade Cambodian food. I certainly missed it.

After a lovely afternoon, evening and morning in Phnom Penh with the family, it was back to Siem Reap on the long bus ride. We arrived in the evening and after waiting for another brother to pick us up, I was escorted to the place where I'd be staying. My first night we had pork chops. Oh, those wonderful pork chops at What Bo? Cafe. I love 'em!

Now I'm getting settled and riding my bike around town for errands and such. It's almost as if time didn't stop, except for the fact that there are more businesses, buildings and cars on the road.

Stay tuned for more updates!

Word of the Day: Hooptie

I discovered a "new" word the other day while reading the article "When You Finally Go It Alone" in the Oct 29, 2007, issue of Newsweek. I supposed I am one generation behind since this article was aimed at recent graduates just entering the workforce. Unfortunately 10 years on, I still feel like I'm just entering the workforce.

This new word lead me to the Urban Dictionary www.urbandictionary.com.

Here are two of the better definitions.

1. hooptie
Any car that meets the following: a) driver must enter car through passenger side b) three different brand and size tires - 3 of them missing hubcap c) exhaust is held up by half a clothes hanger - other half replaces the antenna d) backfires every three blocks - loudest backfire being when car is turned off e) must open door at drive-threws as windows don't roll down f) you only get one AM station and the tape deck eats all tapes inserted g) can't open the glove box as the whole thing will fall out h) if you let go of steering wheel while driving you'll make a u-turn i) must manually move blinker lever up and down as it no longer blinks on it's own j) must keep one foot on brake and one on accelerator when at a complete stop k) has had the same temporary registration sticker in the window for the last 18 months l) has all the above issues but still has a $200 professional tint job

"Hey fool...you gotta have the phattest hooptie in town!"

2. hooptie
Hooptie finds it's origins dating back to the mid 1950's. The original, corrupted phrase is 'Coupe D', referring to a Cadillac Coupe deVille. Over time, Coupe D was rolled together into hooptie. Used to describe everything from "any old car" (thank Shaq for that) or more specifically a large domestic sedan. Popularized by Sir Mix-a-lot, the word moved from a mere description to a slur. Oddly enough, the word can have a variety of meanings, depending on the context, ranging from pride of ownership to an outright insult.

"Man, check out this new hooptie I picked up. $500 and the dash is still perfect!"

"Dammit! my (insert cool car here) is in the shop. Guess I'll mob the hooptie to work."

"Well, it might be a hooptie, but hey, it's got it's own class of demolition derby."

Think BIG

Since starting the Vision to Venture: Self-Employment Training course, I have been inspired to be an entrepreneur. I like envisioning new ideas. The tough part is finding a way to see them come to life.

I have a new interest in looking into Master's program at my alma mater, Cal Poly San Luis Obispo. It's a Master's in Public Policy through the Political Science department. I was amazed to see the Liberal Arts college now offering master's programs. I suppose a lot has changed since graduating in 1998. I envision it being useful for my return plans to Cambodia. I loved to utilize it's training to be better able to find ways to assist in the development of the country.

A cool thing happend on Thursday night. I had contacted the Social Sciences club advisor since I had been active in the club when I was a student and I wanted to see if I could share about my experiences in Cambodia. Well there was a Thursday night live the next week which one of the professors would be talking about his time in Asia. Well wouldn't you know when I showed up and actually re-introduced myself to him I found out he had spent the last year in Cambodia doing research on poverty as it relates to economic development (or lack of). We had so much to talk about. I could have talked all night with him. It was so strange to be talking like a colleague with an old professor.

Do you know what his idea was in order to help alleviate the povert in the countryside? Pigs. Yep, raising pigs for sale. I was so floored. That's why I started the Pig Project last year. I'm excited about a future partnership to explore. Maybe a grant or research fellowship?

All I can say is: THINK BIG!!!

Yearning for some Cambodian food

Party at Prey Daek, Siem Reap, Cambodia July 2007
Originally uploaded by Only in Cambodia

I love when I take pictures of food because it reminds me of why I like it so much. I'm really missing rice at the moment.

My first visit to the South: Birmingham, Alabama

(more pictures coming soon, I promise!)

These are some of the things that I noticed in contrast to California:

• There are lots of green trees. Everything feels like you're in the middle of the woods. The irony is that the South is in the middle of a serious drought.


• The streets do a lot of winding around like you're continually driving through residential areas.


• The streets mainly don't have sidewalks or curbs and the houses have open front yards without fences.


• The shopping areas are very inconspicuous. Suddenly they appear from out of nowhere and blend in nicely.


• Southern hospitality is hit and miss. Some folks have warm charm and others were downright unpleasant. That accent is certainly addictive.

My schedule of activities

Tuesday night: I managed to get through security without my ID. You see, I had taken out my driver's license a couple of days earlier and it was left in the pocket of the jacket I was wearing. My only inconvenience was being put through the cattle shute, being patted down and having my bags thoroughly searched. Other than that, I was surprisingly allowed to fly. Who knew? I arrived just in time for a few minutes of sitting before it was time to board the plane and depart LAX for Detroit on a red-eye flight.

Wednesday morning: spend 3 or so hours in Detroit airport before the 2-hour flight to Birmingham. Picked up by Nick (with very long hair by now) on my arrival. Relax with the family.

Wednesday evening: dinner at Chick-Fil-A (a real one!) with MeiMei, where she reportedly eats at least once a week. I got the 8-piece chicken nugget meal with coleslaw and a 1/2 & 1/2 of sweet tea and unsweet tea. Then it was off to the Church of the Highlands for the mid-week service. Wow! Very awesome pastor.

Thursday morning: I spent the morning in MeiMei's 4th grade class at Hall-Kent Elementary in the Homewood district. I talked for 1 hour about Cambodia showing them some pictures and answering lots of really insightful questions.

Thursday evening: Dinner was at Jim 'n Nicks BBQ. The waitress didn't know how to respond to my question, "How are the collard greens prepared?" Hear the rest of the story on my other blog, Kitchen Surprises, to see how she answers. After dinner, CanCan and I enjoyed an evening of spa treatments and chocolate courtesy of the women's group at Valleydale Baptist. We enjoyed hand treatments, manicures and making our own bath salts and sugar body scrub. The chocolate mocha "punch" was so yummy. Too bad I ate so much at dinner.

Friday morning: Today was our tourist attraction day. First was the Vulcan. And, no, it's not a park dedicated to Star Trek. Think Roman god, ore mines, and steel processing. JoJo, CanCan's boy did really well despite everything being over his head. Our lunch was at Surrin West, a Thai restaurant in downtown Birmingham. Very good Thai food for being outside of Thailand.

Friday afternoon: After lunch we headed over to the Black Business District to visit the Civil Rights Institute. This was an incredible museum dedicated to the Civil Rights movement. There were some very powerful displays. Dr. King's "I have a dream" speech always brings tears to my eyes. When JoJo was showing signs of exhaustion, it was time to go. However, I wandered into the park across the street to take some pictures of the sculptures. Upon viewing one in particular, one of the park dwellers walked past with his bike and casually threw over his shoulder, "You know why that one's upside down?" Of course, I bit, and I was immersed in a personal tour of the park and enlightened on other happenings of the Civil Rights movement from an insider's perspective. I should have known it would have ended with a request for a donation. I offered a hot meal or purchase of his prescription but was declined. Cash was preferred. Sorry, but I don't give cash. We parted with a blessing and a handshake. Thanks Juan for your life and stories!

Friday evening: Meeting back up with MeiMei, we all went out to dinner at Dale's, a supposed traditional Southern restaurant. It was hard wrangling JoJo and getting him to be quiet tonight. I ordered the fried catfish, fried okra and squash casserole. Later we wandered into a bread company called Panera's to look for some breakfast options for the next morning. This followed with checking out a local independent bookstore. Finally, we walked over to the Publix supermarket so's I could buy some Southern food items to take home as souvenirs. I came out with pickled okra and Tony Chachere's Creole seasoning (It goes on everything!) Then it was bye-bye to the Brooms and overnight at MeiMei's soon-to-be old apartment.

Saturday morning: I enjoyed my mochaccino bagel from Panera's and a cup of tea while hanging out until it was time to go to the airport. My flight left at 11:20. We left the house at 9:30. The first flight was to Memphis where I had a 2-hour layover before the 4-hour flight to LAX.

Saturday evening: A long 5-hour way lay ahead of me at LAX before the Coast Flyer bus would pick me up at 9:45pm. I read and read and read some more. Finally I broke down and got a soy Chai latte at the Starbucks in the international arrivals area where I was sitting. When the bus did come, I was the only passenger for the entire ride back to Pismo Beach. Lucky me. Unfortunately the only TV channel was a canned CNN-like news broadcast. Boring! I dosed off and on 'til my 1:00am arrival.

The Rav4 was waiting for me and I drove myself home. Upon arrival, mom was still up. She could have picked me up after all. I was bushed and after a short overview of the week's activities, went up to bed.

Married and a boyfriend: A story seen on Oprah

A Muslim couple on Petaling Walking Street, Chinatown, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

OK, for some this might be very disturbing. But it is a story that really got me to thinking a lot about how the world and individuals define love and relationships. I saw an episode on Oprah in which she was talking about sex among other things. She had a fairly young (and normal-looking) couple from California near the end to talk about a unique style of relationship that they have.

The story goes that they've been married for about 10 years and have children. One day on a long drive they started talking about redifining their relationship and the possibility of adding more people into the marriage. As it is, this marriage was the first partner the woman had and she was feeling like she wanted to have additional "experiences".

The result was that she now has a boyfriend whom she regularly sees, in addition to maintaining her relationship with her husband and children. The boyfriend is a friend of the both she and her husband and comes over to the house. When they want to "play around", they use the guest bedroom. Currently, the husband does not have an additional girlfriend.

When describing why she chose to have a boyfriend in addition to a husband, she makes the claim that she wanted to experience additional sexual partners in a "safe" environment. Not only that, but she felt that she has a love for this boyfriend that is different than for her husband but not more or less. It was obvious that all of their friends seemed to get along and accept the relationship.

This is a mind blower. I didn't quite know what to think when I saw it, and still don't. I have been wanting to write this blog about it for a long time. There doesn't seem to be any lack of love in her marriage. And obviously she is still involved in her family and with her children. It is just wild to think that spouses would discuss openly and actively pursue additional boyfriends and girlfriends.

Part of me thinks that if your marriage is secure, you have talked it over and the new partner is a friend, then go for it. Why not try to spice up your love life if you feel that you have more than enough love to share with others? I can understand wanting to have two guys who are very different but each have different traits that are desirable and ways of fulfilling a person in which one alone cannot.

The other part of me (that Christian conservative background) wants to scream and stomp and say STOP. What about the children? How do you explain to your kids that mommy and daddy have special friends that sleep over in another bedroom with either mommy or daddy? What about the emotional ties that will eventually have to be severed? It's just complicated.

So, if anyone reads this blog, I'd love to have an open conversation about this topic. Share your thoughts on this style of relationship. Do you agree with it? Could you see yourself having this same type of arrangement?

Garage Sale Day

After weeks of pulling out things from my mother's closets and piling it in the living room and many postponed days for the sale, it finally happened.

There was so much stuff and it was tiring to pull it all out and set it up. The bad news is that we only made $176 dollars. It would have been nice to earn more. We arranged for a thrift shop to come an pick up the stuff we didn't want to keep around. That was great!

Next month we'll sell again but include Christmas items, Tupperware and even some homemade gift baskets.

As if time never passed

An old Mazda RX-7 in too good of condition

I called up a long-time friend last night. I had been intending to do since I got back to the states in August. I figured since I was staying at his parents' house taking care of their animals, it was a good enough excuse to finally call.

All I had to do was say, "Hi, it's Nikki..." and the rest was as if time had never passed. It's amazing how really good friends can pick up where they left off without skipping a beat. Of course, a good portion of the start of the conversation was the quick up-to-speed refresher of what he, the wife and kids are doing now.

Then it was on to cars and work stuff. I can never get enough of the mechanic-speak. It's a habit of being explained things by my father as if I would have understood.

Things I don't miss

Boat Races at Siem Reap Water Festival originally uploaded by Nikki

These are some of the things I don't miss about Cambodia:

-tissues instead of napkins at restaurants
-disorganized and chaotic traffic
-noisy neighbors
-being called after "Hey lady! Wanna buy pos'card?"
-being seen as a dollar sign ($)
-trash heaps in the street and along the side of the roads
-unpaved, pothole-filled roads
-dust

Party at Prey Daek originally uploaded by Nikki

However, here are some of the things I do miss, and think fondly of:

-seeing my sweetheart and hearing his voice everyday
-Saturday morning breakfasts with Carol
-cheap food
-Cambodian food (particulary the samlor m'joo greun and trey broma)
-the pork chops, coconut rice with fried fish, pita with hummus dip and BLT at What Bo Cafe
-riding my bicycle at breakneck speeds
-buying my food really fresh at the Old Market
-my students who adore me
-the heat